A Long, Long Time

Well....it's been a long time since I have blogged...over three months. Our eleven week vacation is over AND I totally screwed up my hard work this summer. I gained back every pound I lost. So I guess I could say that I AM a loser...just not a loser of weight.

Now I am again back at square one, and starting over. Today is day two of being on program and I am going to take it day by day. I have also rejoined the gym.

Wish me luck and pray for me.

Let The Vacation Begin

Tomorrow our eleven week vacation begins.....who knows when I will have the opportunity to blog again. Now I am going to need to be very focused in order to keep OP while I am on vacation. I always have a difficult time on days off. What am I going to do for eleven weeks!!

So I need coping strategies. Here is one thing I am going to do.
I am writing sayings on a note card to keep in my wallet to refer to when I need to. Actually I thing I will make two copies so I can keep one handy in the car. I always have problems on long car trips and the next four days is going to be one LONG car trip. So here is my list:

1. Persistence not perfection!

2. I am a good person and I deserve to be happy, healthy, thin, and rich!
(Quote by MaryGrace)

3. I think I can, I think I can....the little red engine.

4. If it is to be it is up to me.

5. Be strong

6. Be focused

7. Be determined

8. Succeed

9. I CAN do this.

10. I WANT to do this.

11. Don't trade what you want at the moment for what you want the
most. (HEALTH)

I really need to keep these points in mind because I am 56 years old and I want to be as healthy and productive as I can for as long as I can. This process will never be easy, I just have to want it bad enough to "pay the price".

I also will keep journaling my food. Everything I read everywhere says in order to be successful at this, journaling is crucial.

As usual Mary it is up to you....do you want it BAD enough? Be good to yourself and love yourself. You deserve to be happy!

Day Three of ??

This is my third day of being OP....been here before right?? Anyway I am keeping in mind the "sixty days to create a habit" article I read. I also need to be very careful the next six weeks while we are on vacation. Persistance, not perfection is also a good phrase to keep in mind.

Oh I weighed in at 185.4 yesterday, that is up .4 from last Saturday. Based on the week I had.....I was happy.

As usual...be focused...be determined..succeed!!

Sixty Days

I recently read a blog by Prevention's Chris Freitag about habits. According to her, it takes 60 days to form a habit. For some reason I always thought it was 3 weeks to develop a habit. Anyway....I got to 49 days in a row and screwed it up by not hanging in there another 11 days. Sounds like my luck.

My 10,000 steps a day goal didn't go very well either. I only had 2 days over 10,000 both of them were over 12,000, the other days I got about 7 to 8,000. It is just too busy now while we are trying to get ready to leave.

Now on the food front...that isn't going very well either but I bounced back OP starting today. This is just so hard!

Don't I have ANY good news???? Guess not.

When I blog tomorrow, it will be better...

It's A Bust (So Far)

Remember that 10,000 steps a day habit I am focusing on this week. Well it is not going real well...the first day I got 6830 steps and today was 6807. It was not a very smart habit to work on right now. We are just too busy trying to get ready to hit the road next. Also yesterday I was suffering horribly with a cold and a nose that ran like a faucet. The cold was much better today, but I still didn't hit the 10,000 step goal. We will see what happens the rest of the week.

Otherwise I am doing well with my OP eating ...today is day WOW I am not sure if it is 5 or 6 or 7. I will have to look that up and keep track.

Nothing else new...just to
Be focused....................be determined............and.........succeed!!

I AM OVERWEIGHT!!

I weighed in this morning at 185# which shifted my BMI from obese to overweight!!! Yes a milestone today!! The next BMI category is normal, which for my height, I need to weigh 153#. That would be 32# from now. Since, in an earlier blog this week, I decided not to make weekly weight loss goal but to instead pick a weekly healthy habit to focus on, I am not going to venture a guess as to when I will hit a normal BMI. Instead I am going to state confidently that I WILL hit a normal BMI.

I guess I need to pick a healthy habit for this week and I am going to make the commitment this week to walk 10,000 steps a day and wear my pedometer daily.

Be focused.....be determined...succeed!

I AM OVERWEIGHT!!

I weighed in this morning at 185# which shifted my BMI from obese to overweight!!! Yes a milestone today!! The next BMI category is normal, which for my height, I need to weigh 153#. That would be 32# from now. Since, in an earlier blog this week, I decided not to make weekly weight loss goal but to instead pick a weekly healthy habit to focus on, I am not going to venture a guess as to when I will hit a normal BMI. Instead I am going to state confidently that I WILL hit a normal BMI.

I guess I need to pick a healthy habit for this week and I am going to make the commitment this week to walk 10,000 steps a day and wear my pedometer daily.

Be focused.....be determined...succeed!

Day Four

Today is day four of being OP...a far cry from 48 days, but I have to get to day 4 before I can get to day 48. Just keeping on keeping on I guess. Oh tomorrow I will be weighing.

I can't really think of anything to say so I guess this will be a short blog.

Focus...succeed....keep the faith!!

Persistence Not Perfection

Today's title is a trailer used by one of the WW board participants and I have always thought it is very clever and very TRUE. I say many times, it is one of my best traits, that I do not entirely give up. I keep getting back on the horse and working at it. I just need to keep in mind "persistence".

I have a question regarding something I have been reading about on the WW boards. It concerns "Eight Good Health Guidelines". These guidelines must be listed someplace on the WW boards but I have yet to find them..which leads me to believe they might be restricted to subscribers. I am going to start a thread asking about them.

Another thing I am wondering about is a heart rate monitor. The one mentioned is a Polar F6...guess I will have to do some on line research. Don't know if I am really interested in one but I have been reading about a lot of posters that use them.

I had a good OP day today so I am counting it as day 3 in a row. I think if I can get to 7 OP days in a row I can get back up to a long string like I had before. I do realize one thing....I absolutely cannot eat any sweets....they just kill me. They make me have unbelievable cravings for more and more. I really have to forgo them. It is really in my best interest to forget them. I do get satisfaction from sweet fruits like peaches and berries so I will have to make sure they are my only source of sweets.

Oh, I found another WW poster web site today...one that really impressed me, one of her points was to choose an activity or nutrition guideline to focus on each week rather than make a weekly weight loss goal. Now that really makes sense because a person can go absolutely crazy putting so much focus on weight and the number on the scale. Making healthy food choices and exercising will get the job done eventually. I need to remember...the time will pass regardless of what I do with it.

I can DO this, I WANT to do this, I WILL do this.

Here I Am

Yesterday I said I was going to blog daily...so here goes today's blog. I am having a good OP day. Rex took me to Brother's for 2 payday drinks but I counted the points and adjusted my food and made it work. I will continue working on this project and succeeding at it. So what if it takes me a year or two to lose weight....I WILL continue in the right direction.

I have been stuck on the same weight (186.4) for three weeks. That needs to change this week so I am going to be faithful. I weigh in on Sat which is 3 days from now and see if I have budged the scale. Good luck Mary!!

I am going to branch out on this blog to other topics and other issues that are on my mind. After all, I am the only one reading this and I want to explore my thoughts sometimes. Who knows I might surprise myself and I also might learn something about me.

Now to get back to the primary focus....Mary you can and will be successful.........why??? Because you want to and because you will NEVER give up. Be good to yourself!!

A-OK

I am having a great day....staying OP and I also walked.

Why does this have to be so hard. The difficulty of losing weight , and staying focused is so hard. I was doing so well....too bad I went on a winery tour. Once you fall off the wagon, it is so hard to get back on no matter how long you were faithfully OP. I know this is a lifesytle and not a diet. I also know I feel that I do eat healthy, I do veggies and fruits daily... it is just so HARD!! Anyway, I am going make a serious effort to blog everyday no matter what kind of day I am having. That should make me accountable. I need to keep focused....

Never Give Up!!

OK so I haven't been blogging but I haven't entirely lost it either. I weighed the same today as I did last Saturday...thus the "I haven't entirely lost it" thought. The number was 186.4 but that is OK.

I haven't been journaling my food 100% either, but today is a new week, a new start, and a new commitment. I am getting a little nervous since we leave for home in 17 DAYS. I may not be under 180 by then but I KNOW I will be a lot closer. I have to stand back and realize that I started out this summer over 200# so I have made progress. I could have done better but I am heading in the right direction and even if it takes me a year to lose the weight...that is OK...the time is going to pass anyway and after-all I am NOT in a contest. I am embarking on a permanent lifestyle change.

Mary be focused, be determined, and succeed!!

Impetus

Impetus....I was standing at a dead table at work today and this word popped into my mind. So here we go

Impetus:
Push: The energy or motivation to accomplish or undertake something.

OK....I am again correct ....... I have always liked words and this one meant what I thought it did.

Now, back to the dead table. I was standing there and this word entered my head and I thought this is the word that I will use today in describing my determination to succeed. In my mind, I have to explain what was the impetus or moment that made me determined to lose. It was in the wardrobe department of Harvey's in May, I was trying on uniform shirts. I realized that an extra large woman's shirt would not come close to fitting me...talk about impetus...that was it. AND to add insult to injury, they gave me a men's x-tra large and it did fit.....except for the bottom two buttons that I could not button. OK...now I am ready to confront this lifelong demon. God give me strength and determination!!

Even if I don't lose weight every week and I really haven't the past couple of weeks ( I haven't gained either), I am still working on this project. I want to lose weight and I WILL lose weight...how ever long it takes. Weight is just one component, my main goal is to become healthier. Also I just want to feel good. I also want to look, if not good, reasonable. I want to be strong, I want to be energetic, I want to be good at what I do. Is that too much to ask??

Yesterday, Saturday, I weighed in at 186.4# which is up .2# from last week but that isn't bad considering the really rotten week I had.

OK I was reading my last entry and I have either 8 or 9 days OP...well forget that...today is day 3. I am just appalled at how tough this whole process is. Even though I am determined and don't quit..it is not easy. I know for the rest of my life I will have to fight this problem. I can do that but I just don't want it to continue to be the demon it is today. I want it to be regulated to the same category as tooth brushing or shampooing, you know something you have to do but not the main focus of your day. Does that make sense? Anyway I CAN do this and I WILL do this. Mary..focus...be determined. succeed!!

Day by Day

OK...nine days OP. Today was Farmer's Market day and I got my normal salsa ingredients plus some fruit. I made salsa today so tomorrow I will make some chips and have salsa and chips. I make the chips out of La Tortilla Factory tortillas. They are my favorite and only 50 calories each. Can't beat it.

I didn't exercise today, that is really something I need to do as soon as I get up because once the day starts I just don't.

OK Mary you need to focus and be determined!! You know you can..as Nike puts it "just do it".

Hanging in There

On my second go around I am OP 8 days. Ok that is a respectable start. I also did the Slim in Six "Start it Up" video today. I would really like to head to Wisconsin in 29 days weighing less than 180#. In order to do that I feel that I have to exercise at least 4 days a week. That is in addition to the walking that I do. Do I have that commitment in me?? Yes..and I think I have to work on a "work out" schedule. And also to follow it.

I have been thinking about something. The highest weight I have ever seen on a scale I have been standing on is 223#. What a horrendous number, but I do have to say I have only seen that once and the closest I have ever come to that again is 213#. Which makes me wonder...what is the motivator to "go so far and no farther?". AND can I set that "so far and no farther" point at 155# rather than 213# or whatever. I have read so many accounts on the WW boards where people talk about losing weight and then gaining that and then some back. I do have to say I have never reached my highest again. I have gotten close to it but have managed not to go way off the deep end. I've read postings on the WW message boards from people that weigh 250, 300, 350, 400, even 500#. How can someone get to that point?? And THANK GOD I never have. What is the "whatever" that makes a person not cross that line?? I would really like to know.

I need to get that determination back....I really want to succeed..I know how...
1. Write down every bite that goes into my mouth.
2. Keep a positive attitude
3. Exercise
4. Be strong
5. Don't give up
6. Realize the big picture
7. Keep the faith
8. Want it bad enough to do whatever it takes!!

Stay determined....stay focused.....succeed

According to MaryGrace...I am a good person and I deserve to be thin, happy, healthy, and rich!!

Kick My Ass

I need my ass kicked.....anyone is welcome to do the job!! Ok so it is now August 6th and I have not blogged since July 26.

I officially fell off the wagon on 7-28. I actually may have fallen off the 27th but I could have justified being OP through my wine trip to Placerville, but I know me and I just felt uneasy about that so I made it a "no brainier" on the 28th. A definite falling off the wagon. I sure wish I would have eaten something really decadent but I didn't, I just ate junk that I didn't even like to make it official. OK you have now messed up. Now we are back on the wagon and OP for 6 days. That is good and I need to get to goal. I was looking at myself today and feeling really good about the losing weight this summer. And that is something to feel good about, but I can't forget that I still want to lose at least 33 more pounds and even thought I look better, I still want to look a LOT better. And I will!!

Ok..Mary be focused...be determined...and succeed!!

Way To Go!!

I am still OP. It is 47 days and while I am really close to maxing out my flex points for this week...I am still hanging in there. I am very proud of this long string of days and intend to make it even longer.

When I finally figured out that, in order to succeed at weight loss, I will have to count my points and journal my food intake for the rest of my life, I was going to take one or two days a month off and eat whatever I wanted. I now realize that isn't such a good idea and I really don't want to do that. I also don't want to screw up my CDOPs !! The other night when I ate those Toll House Candy Bars, I had the most upset stomach. And it took a full day to feel better. It just isn't worth it to abuse my system that way. Apparently age is making my system a little more delicate!! I feel better when I eat good nutritious food.

Now on to my next problem. Although it isn't really a problem, I feel very ashamed of myself for not exercising. I feel so much better when I exercise so why aren't I?? I know for sure I will be going back to the gym when I get back to Laughlin. I really liked going and with payroll deduction I sure didn't miss the money. Guess I just decided to take the summer off....

Mary you are doing great.....stay focused.....determined.....and succeed!! You can do this!!

Again

Forty five days....we have arrived!! Although I am still OP, I don't have any flex points left for the week...so I will have to be very careful!!

I got some new walking shoes today. They are hightops and my first experience with them but they were on sale and I decided to try them out.

Today was a day off and we went for drinks....not a real diet friendly thing to do.

Oh I forgot to put my Saturday weight on the blog...I weighed in at 186.2#!!! Great!! Even though I didn't weigh myself at the beginning of this journey, I am guessing I started at 201# minimum. So I am thinking since June 10 I have lost 15#. That is a little over 2# per week and that is a very healthy rate and one which I am happy about. I need to keep this pace and really want to. If I keep up the pace, when I get home I will have another 10 to 12 pounds off or in other word 25 to 27 pounds off. That would be so wonderful and I would be thrilled!!

OK...this is where the usual pep talk appears!! Keep it up Mary..you can do this!! Stay focused and determined!!! Your turn to succeed!!

FORTY TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so I am now up to 42 days...and still hanging in there. I have used just about all of my flex points this week, but that is what they are there for and tomorrow starts a new week.

Boy I didn't realize that I hadn't blogged since the 18th. Wow that is a long time actually. Other things on my mind I guess.

Going to Bill's funeral yesterday helped us both. We needed that closure. I know I will never forget about this tragedy but it is no longer in the foreground of my mind..thankfully. In fact today we went hiking at Camp Richardson and at the wishing well I put in a coin for each and wished peace for their souls. And also peace for their families.

Now to concentrate on the purpose of this blog. It is all about ME. I am very determined and I am very happy that I have stuck this out for 42 days and intend to continue on.

Keep it up Mary..you can do this ...you want to do this. Stay focused...stay determined...and succeed!!

Be Careful...Be VERY Careful!!

This has been a bad and dangerous day. I've not totally screwed my OP string but I could be close...and I really don't know why. Just tired and stressed I guess. I cannot get the tragedy of Bill and Linda off my mind. We are going to Bill's funeral Thursday so I am hoping that will put it off my mind. I wake up several times thinking about this and that has to stop.

Otherwise it is day 39 so we break another decade tomorrow!!

Keep strong...be focused...and SUCCEED!!

Per Mary Grace.."I am a good person and I deserve to be happy, healthy, thin, and RICH"!!