Just Thinking About It

I have not really blogged since October.  Why not?

1.  What I was doing was not working for me.

I felt I was just spinning my wheels—down 2 pounds, up 3, down 4, up 1, up-down, up-down.  Just an endless cycle of ups and downs that had a net result of staying about the same.  But, but I want to LOSE!

2.  Sweets!!

In all honesty I eat a really healthy diet---lots of fruits of vegetables, lean meats, soups, salads, grains like rice and quinoa.  So why don’t I lose weight.  One word: SWEETS

I have come to the belief that there is not enough pastry, candy, cookies, cakes, pies, etc, etc in the world to satisfy me.  I can’t have A cookie, I want at least a dozen.  This is so frustrating to me.  I quit smoking 8 years ago and this sweet thing is so much more difficult.  

The only thing that keeps me from being morbidly obese is the fact that I have always exercised and I do mostly eat healthy foods that I cook myself.  But I do binge, not only on sweets but also carbs.  The other night I ate 1/4 bag of tortilla chips, 4 slices of bread with peanut butter, and some pretzels.  Why oh why can’t I control my wolfing down of those foods??  I know in my head that I am sabotaging myself but don’t seem to be able to stop.  I felt so miserable after eating all that in about 15 minutes that I was what?  I don’t even know the words to describe what I felt.  And let me tell ya, that is unusual because I have a large vocabulary.

3.  Comfort

I lost 20 pounds last year about this time.  I kept it off until Thanksgiving.  Since Thanksgiving I have gained 9 pounds mostly because of holiday sweets, lots, and lots of holiday sweets.  But why did I stop at 20 pounds to begin with when I wanted to lose 50??  Because I felt comfortable down 20.

So anyway, I took some time  to think about this journey. Have I figured it out?  Hell NO, but I am making some changes.  This journey is very individual and I need to get it together.